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Post by The Thinker on Feb 18, 2007 8:50:12 GMT -5
To comment on my latest (and hopefully, eventually finished, this time!  ) piece of work, please post them here.  |
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Post by Nytik on Feb 18, 2007 15:32:56 GMT -5
Hey! I hope this one wont be scrapped, I liked the Alien Invasion.
Comments on Prologue
Ok, a few thoughts here. Why are the men fighting? And who are they fighting for? Also, who is the man who disappears into smoke? A nice few mysteries fit into a nice short prologue. Excellent start!
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Post by Nytik on Feb 19, 2007 14:09:17 GMT -5
Actually, I do have one question. The mans staff- what kind of staff is it? Is it like a wizards staff, or some other type?
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Post by The Thinker on Feb 19, 2007 14:14:09 GMT -5
I'm saying nothing. You'll find out when as the story goes along.  |
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Post by Nytik on Feb 19, 2007 14:15:11 GMT -5
Darn these writers not giving secrets away! They're like magicians!
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Post by The Thinker on Feb 20, 2007 17:39:54 GMT -5
;D *No Comment!*
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Post by Nytik on Mar 5, 2007 10:40:12 GMT -5
Chapter 1 Comments
First of all, I'd like to say that I don't know whether Chapter 1 is over or not. It looks like a cliffhanger, but you keep putting ... To Be Continued. How will you signal the ends of chapters?
Ok, anyway. One problem I had with this was Martha. She seems to grasp onto the idea of time travel amazingly quickly. She didn't seem to care where she was, and after the violent shaking, she was ready for adventure. Thats the fastest companion I've ever seen.
I like the description of the creature. Its the second clue to the monsters, the first being right near the start of Chapter 1, and it describes them nicely. I hope that the one they killed will be taken in for examining.
Its also nice to see the Master is in this story. It might add some nice bits to the plot; most stories involving him work well. It sounds a bit like Star Wars- You have the empire, the alliance or 'rebels', and the Chancellor.
Then theres that man again. He vanishes into thin air- thats weird enough. He also seems to know a lot about the forest and what goes on inside them. Perhaps the Doctor and Martha will be able to greet this intriging man.
Overall, apart from Martha acting like shes been travelling a thousand years, a nice first chapter. A nice cliffhanger to end, as well, presuming that it was the end of that chapter.
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Post by The Thinker on Mar 5, 2007 10:59:10 GMT -5
Well, regarding Martha, this is afterall my interpretation of her, and I have her here as someone who takes things as they come. As for the ends of chapters, I'll put up a message saying "Onto CHAPTER X" or such. And the man? Well, you'll see! |
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Post by Nytik on Mar 7, 2007 1:17:57 GMT -5
Ok, that'll be useful.
And I see how that interpretion of Martha can fit in.
Onward!
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) piece of work, please post them here. 
